Every time we turn around we are being told by the experts that we need to be blogging, be on twitter, dive into social media – and start making conversations and interacting with people – developing relationships. We are scolded and told we need we are not to be “all about me”. We are warned that not engaging with those who are reaching out to us – is the very worse offense. And “the experts” are right.
What troubles me, is the very “do as i say and not as I do” attitude of these experts. This past weekend, one of them asked me, pleaded with me to please come by their blog and say hello, because so many of his hundreds and thousands of readers never do! “Just say hi!” he says.
I commented:
Why Chris? Listen I like you, i enjoy reading your emails and stuff. I’ve watched most of your vids, read Trust Agents… I’ve tweeting to you, I’ve RT’d you, I’ve commented on your thoughts or forwarded your posts – but not once have you even acknowledged any of it. You have many thousands of followers, you have God knows how many subscribers to your blog – and I’m sorry – but after a while – it just becomes a little fake to me. I love what you preach, but not how you practice it – and i speak only for myself. I make sure i take the time (and GOD knows it takes a lot) to interact with those who interact with me and that’s why I have no aspirations to be a “Chris Brogan”. Some of “you folks” have a lot of interest, eyeballs, readers and followers – but we both know after a certain level -you can’t keep up. And as soon as you get to that point – you start moving into hypocrite territory. I like you Chris, I like what you say – but please – don’t do a blog post or tweet about how you want my input and then can’t even acknowledge it. That’s not cool.
I noticed after my comment he started acknowledging people’s comments – even at one point saying – “oh but see how much WORK this is???”
Dude. You asked for it. Don’t complain to me.
Bottom line: don’t ask for someone – be it a client, customer, donor – anyone – to engage with you and not acknowledge it. Don’t tell someone that these are the rules but you don’t need to play by them. Don’t complain that you are so important to so many people that you can’t do the very things you are constantly telling them to do. Especially when you are the “expert” in this kind of thing.
Twitter Updates
8 February 2010 at 11:19 am
John – great post, this is so true! Responding to even the slightest RT or blog posting truly goes along way – no matter the audience. I mentioned Richard Florida in a tweet last year and he personally responded to me and RT’d my note. It takes a lot of work to comment and provide feedback – but if Richard makes time, we all should. I appreciated Richard’s social network presence and engagement and will continue to follow him and spread his news as well. Engagement is key and generates not only business but awareness for all audience levels.
Keep up the great work John – see you in the Twitosphere soon!
8 February 2010 at 11:39 am
Thanks a lot Paige for your thoughts. I am painfully aware that it is easy for me to climb aboard my high horse on this kind of issue but you’re right – it DOES take a lot of effort to keep engaged. If you can’t manage it then don’t tell me how I should be doing it. See you on twitter!
8 February 2010 at 1:26 pm
John,
Every once in a while, we need a well-deserved rant. That was one.
Rainer
8 February 2010 at 2:36 pm
Damn Rainer – Jen told me it didn’t sound too rant-y…
Oh well – I just like to call them like I see them. Thanks for your thoughts.
8 February 2010 at 2:41 pm
I think there is value in social media but I did find it interesting how when we were at the liquor store and John was tweeting and finding out what his peeps were up to, he acknowledged that he’s engaging people online but not engaging the people that are around him, while he’s doing it (like playing on your iPhone at your parents house). I think there needs to be a balance in this – as with all things in life. I believe acknowledging people is really important but if you have to be on social media 24-7 to do that, you’re not really living are you?
8 February 2010 at 2:48 pm
Great post John!
And, I’ll confess that, while I feel that I “engage” via Twitter, I never thought (until recently) to respond to blog comments. Now I try to stay on top of them.
I’ve had the exact same experience as you – connecting with another nonprofit consultant via Twitter, Facebook and even email and never getting the courtesy of a response.
8 February 2010 at 2:59 pm
Thanks Tara. What I was actually doing at the Liquor store was checking in with Foursquare! Which i got extra points for being the first to do so! And that is important.
But to your point, I don’t think I am expecting anyone to be “on” and engaged all the time. My main concern is that if you are spending time and effort to “engage” with people, and then do – then to ignore them is obviously an issue. These people aren’t (usually) rock stars or other public figures – they are “consultants” who’s business is built around being social and how to use these new channels that exist. And while they are obviously using the channels very well, and have a lot of value to add (like most good consultants) they are incapable – or maybe even unwilling – to do the one thing they tell all of us we should be doing. Engaging with people who obviously care about what they think.
Thanks to you too Pamela for your thoughts. And listen, sometimes when you are new to the game, you aren’t going to know all of the rules – but you learn right? My concern is with those that DO know the rules (and I know they know them because they are reminding me all the time) – they just decide the rules don’t apply to themselves.
8 February 2010 at 5:29 pm
I LOVE that you say it like you see it John! Way to call out those folks who don’t practice what they preach. I’m certainly on a steep learning curve myself with all of these social media tools. I don’t tweet every day or post in my blog every week even, but I’m trying to do what I can with the time I’ve got.
8 February 2010 at 6:43 pm
I’ve reached the point that I stopped following people who don’t engage – both on Twitter & Facebook, and to a lesser extent blogs.
If someone new follows me on Twitter, I check their profile and if I don’t see a reply on that first page, I don’t follow them. The rare exception are news and/or media types.
I don’t know how often we have to remind people that the first word in Social Media is… SOCIAL.
9 February 2010 at 9:41 am
Hey Rachel – thanks for your comments. The learning curve is minimal. If you know how to talk to people at a party – you can do social media. Forget “networking”. It’s about meaningful conversation.
Cheers Laurie. I knew you would understand.
9 February 2010 at 11:36 am
John:
I had to smile while reading your post. I also read Chris’ blog last week and thought, “Gee, he’s right. I’d better drop him a comment since he appears to be calling out those of us who have never done so.” So, I did. I posted not too long after you did. I was also inspired by reading your comment there…But, did I hear a peep back from Mr. Brogan? Nope. So, I’m right there with you. I think it’s awfully easy to preach, and much more difficult to “practice.” Loved this rant! (And no, it really wasn’t very ranty.) Thanks for being here.
9 February 2010 at 11:50 am
Well thank you very much Elizabeth for coming by and passing that along. And a gold star for your first comment here too!
I really appreciate it. Cheers.
9 February 2010 at 5:19 pm
Great point! I spend a lot of time keeping up with all of the social aspects of blogging. Whether it’s replying to facebook updates or all the comments on my blog. Funny that I often comment on blogs and never expect the same in return, thinking that the blogs I comment on are “big boys” and wouldn’t have time to spend on someone small like me.
But I hope I never, ever become like that. Yes it may become difficult to respond to each and every comment, message, update, etc but I will do my best to make sure that every person knows they have been heard and their input appreciated.
9 February 2010 at 6:25 pm
well thanks for coming by Mokibobolink – from one “small” blogger to the next – I appreciate the comments. Also like you, it does get a little tiring leaving comments and talking about the “big boys” and their posts without even a hint of appreciation or acknowledgement – which is doubly insulting considering it is our acts that is making them as high profile as they are. Without your audience, you are nothing. And I love mine! Thanks again…
15 February 2010 at 10:18 pm
And here I was feeling bad about not replying to comments on my blog right away!
I can understand trying to evoke engagement; a response then is almost obligatory: As if you invited someone new to your club and then ignored them.
I admit I have a harder time keeping up with Twitter. Hoping a new mobile device will help.
16 February 2010 at 8:54 am
Thanks for your thoughts Suzanne. Sometimes, just acknowledging someone for taking the time to comment is enough. I don’t feel that I need to reengage every person who comments and tweets me. Is it work? yes. But if you took the time to comment or mail me, the least I can do is say thanks right? And yes, my iphone is awesome for keeping on top of things. Cheers!
14 April 2010 at 8:31 am
You make a great point. When your followings become larger, it becomes difficult to manage sometimes, but isn’t that true of everthing that’s worthwhile in life. One of my take aways from your article is that I need to do a better job of commenting on worthwhile information, like your post
14 April 2010 at 9:29 am
Thank you Susan. I realize that is is a bit of a catch 22 – with popularity comes great responsibility and eventually defeat in trying to manage it all. But the point remains the same – if you ask to be engaged – and you are – don’t ignore it. Thanks for your comment.